Keep It Together!
by floatingwhitefeather
Summary: JK mostly but some EG for fun, too Something's bothering jessie but she won't tell anyone what is it...especially not Katie...please RR
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Keep It Together (1/?)

**Author:** Morgan  
**Feedback:** Please, Please, Please or IM me J4687S AOL Instant Messenger  
**Disclaimer: **These characters aren't mine and I'm just borrowing them for a while.  
**Summary:** I'm not good at the whole summary thing...something's up with Jessie but she won't tell anyone what it is?  
**Author's Note:** This is my first ever fan fic - I've never attempted writing one. So, I apologize in advance if it totally sucks. But I would really love some feedback as to whether or not you guys want me to continue this story. thanks

Jessie gazed into Katie's eyes and wondered how she could ever live without her. Since she and Katie had been together it'd been the happiest time of her life.

"What are you thinking?" Jessie inquired of her Billie.

Katie hesitated before she answered. Jessie grew concerned, but before she could say anything else, Katie interrupted her thoughts.

"I love you" Katie stated while staring directly into Jessie's eyes.

Jessie's worry left right away, and she felt like she could fly.

"I am so in love with you" Jessie replied as she leaned in and kissed the love of her life.

But that was two months ago. Jessie hadn't spoken to Katie in nearly a month, and it'd been the worst month ever. She knew it was her fault, but she still tried to convincer herself that it was for the best. She lied there on her bed in the attic staring at the ceiling when she heard her name being yelled.

"Jessie!"

Grace started to get annoyed, and yelled again as she walked up the stairs to Jessie's room.

"Jess!" she yelled again.

"What?" Jessie finally answered back.

Grace came into her room, and stared at her pitiful stepsister. They'd actually grown pretty close now, and this was another attempt by Grace to get Jessie out of the house.

"Hey brat" Grace said jokingly "Zoe, you, and me are going to get out for dinner since mom and Rick are going out by themselves, and well, your cooking skills kinda suck...What are you in the mood for?"

Jessie thought about it for a second and answered "How about Friday's?"

Grace was surprised by the lack of argument coming from Jessie, but decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Sound fine to me - I know Zoe likes it, too." Grace said as she eyed Jessie's hair and face. Then she added, "Why don't you wash up and get ready and we'll go when you come downstairs? I bet it's pretty busy since it's Saturday night"

Jessie ignored the obvious attack at her lack of grooming and said fine.

She jumped into the shower and let the cool water run down her face. The water had a mesmerizing effect on her. She heard a man's voice "no one will know and love you like I do" Jessie snapped out of it and washed her hair. She got out of the shower and was almost finished blow drying her hair when she just started crying uncontrollably.

"Jess!" Yelled Zoe "You almost ready? I'm starved!"

Jess calmed herself "Yeah, Zoe, just give me one second" Jessie stared at her reflection in the mirror and said to herself. "No. I **can** keep it together." Jessie ran up to her room and threw on a pair of low ride jeans, some heals, a cute shirt, and added a little make up.

Just as she was walking down the stairs Grace started to call "Jes.."

But she was interrupted by Jessie "I'm here - I'm here!"

"Great" Said Zoe "Let's go" but then Zoe paused and stared at Jessie "Hey, you look awesome Jessie"

"Yeah you do" Grace agreed then added only half serious "except for **my** hair clip"

--------

As the girls finished ordering their food Jessie asked Zoe about school and that filled up the conversation for a while as Zoe explained about her horrible teacher who didn't understand why dissecting frogs was wrong. Just as Jessie was going to ask a follow up question they were interrupted.

"Hey Jessie" A boy said to them and Jessie soon recognized him as Josh from her homeroom.

"Oh, hey" she replied "It's Josh, right?"

"Yeah": he answered obviously please that she remembered his name.

Jessie realized that Grace and Zoe hadn't said anything since this dark haired blue eyed boy interrupted them.

"Oh" Jessie continued "This is Zoe and you probably recognize Grace from school"

"Yeah, hey" he said to both of them and they replied the same.

Josh looked at a group of his friends who were ready to head out the door. "Well, it seems like my friends are getting impatient, but, um..." he looked extremely nervous but finally managed to ask "I was wondering if you would go out with me tomorrow? To a movie or a hockey game or wherever" He said obviously embarrassed and anxious for her answer.

Jessie thought quickly of Katie, and how much she missed her and couldn't stop thinking about her.

Jessie suddenly answered "Yeah, I'd love to" as she wrote her number on a napkin and handed it to him.

"Great" Josh answered excitedly "I'll call you later and we'll decide where to go"

"OK, see ya"

"Bye"

Zoe couldn't contain herself any longer. "That is so cool!" She's said "He's a hottie and hockey sounds like fun"

Jessie didn't agree about the hockey, but she looked at Grace who had a sort of look of shock on her face. "Well, if this is what Jessie needs, then I'm happy for her" Grace thought to herself.

-------------

Josh had called and they'd decided on going for a picnic in the park tomorrow afternoon. Jessie thought it was such a cute idea, and definitely much better than a hockey game.

Josh rang the doorbell at exactly 1PM. He was greeted by Lily and house full of chaos as Eli, Zoe, and Grace were playing Monopoly and Rick was in the backyard working on something.

Grace ran to get Jessie "Jessie!" she yelled "Josh is here!"

Jessie walked downstairs with her hair half up/half down and with a few stray curls falling around her face framing it. She wore a very cure white blouse and a jean skirt with some sandals.

"Thanks Grace" Jessie told her sister "See ya later"

"Have Fun!" Grace said with a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

--------------

Josh had brought a picnic basket, lunch, and a CD player.

They ate and chatted about everything from school to the her JV soccer team. They both liked soccer. Jessie didn't recognize the music playing, but she found herself enjoying it. It fir the mood of the day perfectly. She was just commenting on what a gorgeous day it was when Josh slowly leaned in and kissed her.

It was very sweet and they broke apart soon after.

"Sorry" Josh mumbled shyly.

"No, it's OK" Jessie assured replied and kissed him.

They went on chatting until late in the afternoon finally leaving after they watched the sunset.

It had been a great day, and Jessie tried to convince herself that it was perfect.

---------

The next day in school Jessie felt different. She walked into homeroom, and she saw that Josh was saving a seat for her. She hesitated in the doorway, but finally sat down next to him.

"This is right" she thought to herself trying to ignore the nagging feeling of guilt she'd had since the night before. "Katie isn't mine anymore" Jess thought desperately wishing she could forget the feeling gave her.

Later that afternoon as Jessie was getting changed in the locker room she saw two girls headed her way.

"Hey Jessie" One of them called to her "I saw you yesterday in the park looking very cozy with Josh Summers"

This got the attention of everyone left in the locker room and Jessie felt like she wanted to die. She knew Katie would be here any minute for varsity practice and she's wanted to get out early.

"Uh" Jessie stammered

Suddenly she was surrounded by a group of people laughing happily and demanding to know more from her.

"So" The same girl continued "How good of a kisser is he? Looked pretty good to me"

Jessie turned bright red, and as she finished pulling on her sock and shoe she looked up and saw two bright emerald green eyes staring back at her.

Jessie was stunned -- Katie had heard everything.

Katie fled the locker room out onto the field as Jessie finally made her way though the crowd of noisy girls who had gone back to getting ready.

"Katie! Wait!" Jessie yelled as long legged beauty started to run laps around the field. Jessie finally caught up with her. They both stopped and looked at each other trying to regain their normal breathing.

Jessie looked at the taller girl and saw the effort it was taking her to fight back her tears.

"Katie, I... " Jessie started softly trying to keep it together

Katie looked at her and blurted out "Jess, I miss you"

Katie then added quickly "And I can't stop thinking about you - God, I wish I could but..."She stopped talking and looked down at her feet.

That was the last thing Jessie had expected her to say. She thought she would be angry or yell at her or something...Jessie wished that's what would have happened - maybe that would've been easier than answering this honest confession.

"I'm sorry" Jessie said trying with all her might not to scream that she loved and missed her, too.

"Katie" Jessie started again " I do miss your friendship. I'm so sorry that you're hurting, that's the last thing I want, but it really is for the best - I'm sure."

Katie looked like someone had slapped her in the face "My friendship?" Katie thought bitterly.

"Jessie, please, just talk to me" Katie pleaded with her "Why won't you tell me what's really going on?"

"I have" Jessie managed to answer. Before Katie could saying anything else Jessie ran off the field. She ran passed a group of girls who were obviously coming to start practice.

Grace saw Jessie run past them and yelled after her, but her sister kept running. Grace followed her back into the now empty locker room.

"Jessie! Stop!" Grace yelled as her sister looked ready to bolt"

Jessie paused and looked at Grace with tears in her eyes.

Grace grew more concerned

"What's wrong?" She demanded "What happened?"

"Nothing" Jessie answered "I just want to get out of here"

Grace thought about her team out on the field practicing and looked at her little sister who was obviously in pain.

"Okay" Grace answered" Just give me a second to throw on my clothes and I'll take you anywhere you want to go"

Jess nodded silently.

-------------

I guess TBC if anyone thinks I should...


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Keep It Together (2/?)  
Author: Morgan  
Feedback: Please, Please, Please floatingwhitefeathery... or IM  
me J4687S AOL Instant Messenger  
Disclaimer: Most of these characters aren't mine and I'm just  
borrowing them for a while.  
Summary: I'm not good at the whole summary thing...something's up  
with Jessie but she won't tell anyone what it is?  
Author's Note: This is my first ever fan fic. So, I apologize in  
advance if it totally sucks. But I would really love some feedback as  
to whether or not you guys want me to continue this story. thanks  
Author's Note #2 - okay, so here's part 2...i'll write more soon  
because I'm pretty sure I know where I'm going with it it just may  
take a little bit to get there...=)  
  
---------------  
  
Katie watched Jess run away, and she saw Grace run after her.  
  
This only confirmed what Katie had been thinking -- there was  
definitely something Jessie wasn't telling her. As Katie finished  
stretching with the team she looked around to see if Grace had come  
back yet. When she didn't see her, Katie knew something was wrong.  
-----  
  
"OK" Grace said as she started the car "Where to?"  
  
"I dunno" Jessie mumbled  
  
"How about Booklovers? We can get some free coffee off of Aunt  
Judy. " Grace finally decided  
  
"OK" Jessie replied, obviously still lost her in own thoughts  
------  
  
Grace and Jessie walked in to find Judy sitting behind the cash  
register reading a book.  
  
"Hey" Grace and Jessie chorused as made their way towards her  
  
Judy looked up and replied happily "hey girls!"  
  
Judy smiled at them and asked "What can I do for you two?"  
  
"Can we just get a couple of nonfat white chocolate mochas?" Grace  
asked knowing this was one of Jessie's favorite drinks.  
  
"Sure thing" Judy replied as she left the two alone. She was usually  
pretty good at sensing when people wanted to be left alone.  
  
"OK" Grace said "Spill."  
  
Jessie sighed and thought to herself for a long time before answering.  
  
"I don't know where to start" She said simply  
  
"How about telling me what just happened back on the soccer field?"  
Grace helped  
  
"Ok" Jessie said as she described the events that had just taken  
place.  
  
Grace looked at her sympathetically "Jess, you've been miserable  
since you and Katie broke up"  
  
Jessie started to interrupt, but Grace kept going.  
  
"So, why isn't this great news that she misses you? I mean it's  
obvious she's been miserable, too. She barely says anything in class,  
she's been absent more than ever, and whenever I say hi to her, it  
looks like it's too painful for her to even talk to me."  
  
Jessie couldn't take hearing all of this about Katie. Her heart was  
already broken.  
  
"Grace, Katie and I are over. It's just better" Jessie unconvincingly  
  
"Why?" demanded Grace "I mean you have a great relationship with  
someone who you trust and love, and you suddenly end it -- without  
even an actual reason! "  
  
"Because..." Jessie started, but she was interrupted by Judy.  
  
"Two non fat white chocolate mochas -- on the house" Judy said with a  
smile  
  
"Thanks, Aunt Judy" Grace said  
  
"Does your mother know where the two of you are?" Judy wondered of  
Grace and Jessie  
  
"No" Grace replied "But we won't be too long. Mom's probably not even  
home"  
  
"OK" Judy conceded noticing how quiet Jessie had been. " Just let me  
know if you guys need anything else"  
  
Jessie hadn't heard Judy. She'd let her mind wander off again 'C'mon  
Jessie, Follow me...'  
  
"Jessie?!" Grace asked sharply.  
  
"What?" Jessie looked up "Oh, sorry, I must've spaced" Jessie  
answered not being able to shake off the weird feeling she was having.  
  
"Are you going to be ok?" Grace asked her with a little worry in her  
voice  
  
Jessie didn't feel like talking anymore.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm sorry I've gotten worked up" She smiled at  
Grace "It's really no big deal - more Days of Our Lives drama...but  
Judy's probably right - we should head home"  
  
"Right" Grace said deciding not to press her any further  
  
-----------  
  
Not much later Grace and Jessie walked in the house to find Rick and  
Lily wondering where they were.  
  
"Where were you?" Rick demanded of them "Jessie's already 30 minutes  
late for her appointment"  
  
"Sorry" Grace replied "We just got some coffee at Aunt Judy's and we  
must have lost track of time"  
  
"Yeah, Dad" Jessie said "I'm sorry, but I can make up the appointment  
another day"  
  
"You're exactly right" Rick said calming down a bit "I scheduled  
another one for tomorrow"  
  
"But Grace has soccer practice tomorrow" Jessie said  
  
"Well, you can just wait at school until she's finished and then  
she'll take you" Rick decided  
  
"Great" Jessie mumbled sarcastically as she took off for her room in  
the attic.  
  
Jessie found herself in a familiar position -- lying on her bed  
staring at the ceiling of attic.  
She was so confused and pissed off, and that made her even more mad.  
I'm over this she though to herself I'm not a drama queen She  
stayed on her bed for a while just lost in thought. Just as she was  
about to call Josh somone knocked on her door.  
  
"Can I come in?" Eli called.  
  
"Yeah" Jessie answered surprised to hear it was her brother. What's  
he doing here? she thought to herself  
  
Eli walked up the stairs and took a seat on the bed next to Jessie.  
It looked to Jessie like she wasn't the only with a few things on her  
mind.  
  
"What's up?" Jessie asked him  
  
"That's what I was going to ask you. Something's been going on with  
you, and even though my better judgment tells me to stay out of it ---  
I can't." Eli answered  
  
"Like you would notice anything -- you've been avoiding us" Jessie  
replied a little more bitterly than she had intended.  
  
"I'm sorry I haven't been around a lot Jess, but I'm not avoiding  
you" Eli added "And don't change the subject -- I think i know it is,  
too" He finished  
  
"You do?" Jessie asked him incredulously Did he know? Was he mad?  
she though anxiously to herself.  
  
"Look, Jess, I thought you'd come to me and tell me about you and  
Katie when you were ready. But what can I say -- I'm not officially  
too impatient. So, what happened? You've been in a horrible mood for  
over a month now" Eli finally finished.  
  
Jessie was stunned to hear her brother's such accurate observations.  
She felt kind of guilty for making him feel bad for not being around.  
  
"Gee, you sure do seem observant for someone who's not around" Jessie  
said trying a feeble attempt to joke.  
  
"Look, E," she said kind of mocking him "I'm glad you don't seem  
upset, I can't tell you how much that means to me, but there's  
nothing to be upset about anymore. There's nothing going on with  
Katie and me anymore.  
  
Before Eli could interrupt and ask why Jess continued "I don't really  
feel like talking about it - it's been a long day already and it's  
not even dinner. I'm over my quota for drama on the day" She said  
kiddingly.  
  
Eli backed off. He knew her well enough by now to know when she was  
serious. Besides, now that he had told Jessie he knew, she could  
always come to him when she needed it.  
  
"Ok" Eli started "Just know I'm here even if it doesn't seem like it.  
If you ever need someone to talk to - or need me to beat someone  
up..."  
  
Eli added slowly "you really should talk to someone though, Jess"  
  
Jessie appreciated his big brother shtick and replied "You know,  
Grace has actually been really great though all of this...who would  
have though we'd have become close?"  
  
"Yeah, seriously, I thought you guys might kill each other.......but  
she's pretty cool.." he said staring as his feet hanging of the bed.  
  
Suddenly something click with Jessie. How could she have been so  
stupid?! She'd been so caught up in not thinking about Katie that  
she'd forgotten to think of Eli.  
  
"Pretty cool, huh?" Jessie said with a twinkle in her eye.  
  
"Yeah" Eli said vaguely.  
  
"Oh, E, why didn't you just tell me you've been avoiding the house  
because of Grace?" She demanded.  
  
"What? Hey!" Eli replied surprised.  
  
"You know that observant thing must a Sammler genetic trait" Jessie  
smiled at him and then added "Ok, your drama quota isn't up for the  
day, and actually I think it'd be a nice change to hear about your  
love life problems rather than mine."  
  
Eli looked hesitantly at his suddenly wise sister.  
  
"Ok, you're right" he said "But I'm trusting you"  
  
"Likewise" Jessie said  
  
"Things between me and Grace are just complicated. I thought when we  
kissed a while ago that it was no big deal, but I can't forget it. I  
finally realized how much I like her, and well...I guess she was able  
to forget it. Now when I'm ever I'm around her I mumble something  
about band practice and leave." Eli finally finished  
  
Eli looked at his sister to see what reaction to this news was, and  
decided to go on.  
  
"The thing is, I started liking her before lily and dad got married.  
I mean I didn't think they'd actually get together. And now that we  
live in the same house....and man, I bet dad and lily would be  
thrilled if we got together" He said sarcastically  
  
"So what?" Jessie demanded of him "What does it matter? If you guys  
like each other - that's enough. I'd, uh, only draw the line at blood  
relations" she said throwing a pillow at him.  
  
"Ha Ha" Eli said "I know, but I guess I'm just not sure what to do  
next exactly"  
  
Jessie thought for a second. She was a little surprised by Eli's  
admission and wondered what Grace's thoughts were on this situation.  
  
"Why don't you just start slowly?" Jessie asked him  
  
Eli looked at her curiously  
  
Jessie finished "Try staying in the same room with her for more than  
10 seconds."  
  
Eli kind of laughed "You know something Jess? We're real winners at  
this whole relationship thing"  
  
"Yeah, we --" Jessie started to reply as Rick yelled upstairs  
  
"Jessie! Dinner!"  
  
"Well, here's your chance to start slowly" Jessie said as they  
started down the stairs.  
  
TBC...?


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Keep It Together (3/?)  
Author: Morgan  
Feedback: It'd be very much appreciated at  
floatingwhitefeathery... or IM me J4687S AOL Instant Messenger  
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine (except Josh) and I'm just  
borrowing them for a while.  
Summary: I'm not good at the whole summary thing...something's up  
with Jessie but she won't tell anyone what it is.  
Author's Note: This is my first ever fan fic - I've never attempted  
writing one. So, I apologize in advance if it sucks. But I would  
really love some feedback as to whether or not you guys want me to  
continue this story. Thanks  
a/n #2: It's been awhile since I've written anything in this story  
or posted, so for the first two parts they are message numbers 10442  
and 10448.  
a/n #3: When I use it means that the character is thinking...  
  
----------------------  
The next day Jessie overslept her 2 alarm clocks.  
  
"Crap!" She yelled as she looked at the unforgiving clock. She  
quickly threw on some jeans and a cute shirt. She was glad she'd  
decided to take a shower the night before. She knew that any second  
Grace would be screaming for her to hurry up. And just as she was  
grabbing her bag, there came a yell from downstairs.  
  
"Jessie!" Grace yelled "We're going to be late! I don't want to have  
to sign in!!"  
  
Jessie dashed down the stairs and into the car. "Sorry," She  
breathed to Grace. She didn't feel like arguing, and she had  
actually overslept. "I didn't hear my alarm"  
  
"Apparently," Grace said as she quickly looked at Jessie.. "Here,  
use some of my lip gloss. It's amazing what just a little gloss can  
do to help you look more awake."  
  
As Jessie floated through her classes, she was dreading the end of  
the day. She knew that sticking around for Grace's soccer practice  
meant that she'd have to see Katie. I wonder if I can just stay in  
the library Jessie thought to herself.  
  
She went through the rest of the day in a haze. Before 8th period,  
the last period of the day, she decided to look for Grace to tell  
her she'd be in the library. She finally saw her running into her  
English class.  
  
Damn it. Jessie thought to herself. She didn't want to have to go  
into the classroom and tell her. Why did she have to go into class  
before the bell rang?? Finally, Jessie decided it'd be better to go  
tell her rather than have her freak out and wonder where she was.  
Knowing how Grace is she'd have everyone looking for her.  
  
The only thing that gave her comfort was that she knew Katie hardly  
ever got into class a second before the bell ran. Jessie looked into  
the classroom and breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't see  
Katie.  
  
She went in quickly and spotted Grace at the front.  
  
"Jess?" Grace asked surprised to see Jess in her class "what's  
wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," Jess said "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to  
wait for you in the library instead of watching your practice. I've  
got a lot of homework I might as well work on."  
  
Grace knew right away that Jessie just wanted to avoid Katie, but  
since this wasn't the place nor the time to debate Jess she just  
conceded. "Ok, just come meet me in the locker room a little before  
practice is over. I don't want to have to go to the other side of  
the school to get you, k?"  
  
Jess agreed and left quickly for her class.  
  
As Jessie tried to make her quick, unnoticed exit she heard Grace  
yell behind her "No excuses!"  
  
-----------  
  
After her own JV soccer practice, Jessie quickly changed and headed  
for the library. She was glad she avoided the scene she'd had the  
day before with everyone. As she walked into the library, she was  
relieved to see it was empty. She didn't really have that much  
homework to work on, but she decided to get a jump start on her  
reading for English.  
  
As she walked towards a computer, she was lost in her thoughts and  
barely noticed that Josh was sitting at a computer nearby.  
  
"Hey" Josh called out to her at the dismay of Miss Pruit, the  
librarian.  
  
Jessie jumped about a foot in the air. She quickly collected herself  
though when she realized it was just Josh.  
  
"Oh, hey" she replied surprised to see him. "What're you doing here?"  
  
"My computer broke at home, and I needed to check some stuff on the  
web before I went home. What about you?" He replied.  
  
"I'm just waiting for Grace's soccer practice to be over."  
  
"You know, I've heard they have a good team this year. I think it'd  
be fun if there was a Varsity game between the guy's and girl's  
soccer teams."  
  
"Yeah, aren't they going to do that in a couple of weeks actually?"  
  
"I heard that rumor, but so far coach hasn't said anything to  
us....hey, why don't we go hang out on the bleachers at the soccer  
field? That way Miss Pruit will stop giving us the evil eye and she  
could go home." Josh said and then added coyly "And plus I can check  
out the competition."  
  
Jessie didn't really want to go to the field, and she knew she could  
get out of it by saying she needed to study. Unfortunately, Miss  
Pruit looked like she was going to kick them out.  
  
God Jessie thought to herself How the hell do I get myself into  
these situations? She didn't understand why she still thought it  
even mattered to Katie if Jessie and Josh were together. It probably  
didn't. Katie and her had broken up a couple of months ago, and the  
longest conversation they'd had was that horrible day on the soccer  
field. Why am I even thinking about Katie's reaction? Jess  
thought scolding herself.  
  
"Ok," Jessie replied hoping that she didn't regret her decision to  
forgo some excuse.  
  
--------------  
  
"So, top bleacher or bottom one?" Josh asked as they got to the  
field.  
  
"Top," Jessie replied. This way she didn't actually have to see  
anyone's face.  
  
They climbed to the top of the bleachers, and saw the scrimmage that  
was happening below them. Grace was actually pretty good. Jessie had  
never really watched her play. Suddenly her eyes darted to the  
person in the position parallel to Grace. Katie hadn't looked up  
here because she was so intent on the game.  
  
Good, she hasnt seen me thought Jessie This is not a big deal  
  
Josh and Jessie went on making small talk, and Jessie was actually  
grateful that he was pretty good at making conversation. She knew if  
it were up to her to keep the conversation at a steady pace, they'd  
be doomed.  
  
----  
  
"Over here!" Katie yelled to Grace as she ran forward towards the  
goal. Grace kicked the ball in Katie's direction, and Katie used her  
head to score.  
  
"Yes!" Grace yelled. She and Katie hadn't been in these positions  
together before, but it was actually working out. Katie's intensity  
was contagious. Maybe they'd keep wining some games. The coach blew  
the whistle for everyone to gather around her. As Grace was heading  
back she ran up to Katie.  
  
"Hey good shot" she said to her through gasping breaths.  
  
"Well, thanks for the assist" Katie said.  
  
As Katie took a seat on the grass, she saw two people watching them  
in the stands. She couldn't' tell who it was because they were  
caught up in talking to each other, and she couldn't make out their  
faces. Probably checking out the competition She thought excitedly  
to herself.  
  
Suddenly the girl on the right turned her head, and Katie would've  
recognized that blonde hair and profile anywhere. Great Katie  
thought to herself bitterly That's just Jessie and Josh....Jessie and  
josh... she thought it again, and it hurt her to hear their names  
together. It's not supposed to be Jessie and Josh...it's supposed to  
be Jessie and Katie...  
  
"Singer!" Barked the coach. "Wake Up!"  
  
"Sorry" Katie mumbled sheepishly. She hadn't realized that she'd  
stopped paying attention to what the coach was saying.  
  
"Run 10 laps then we're done for the day" Her Coach finally  
finished.  
  
As Katie started her laps her thoughts wandered. It made running  
even harder. Normally, she can just block out all of her thoughts so  
that she is completely focused on running.  
  
Katie didn't understand what the hell was going on with Jessie. How  
were things so good with them and then suddenly she decided not to  
speak to her? The longest conversation she'd had with her was for 2  
minutes on a soccer field....  
  
Something has to have happened. People just don't fall out of love  
overnight....do they? Did I do something to upset her?....If I did why  
won't she tell me what it is?  
  
Just then Katie realized she'd finished her ten laps, and was  
already starting her eleventh. Finally as she finished her laps she  
tried to calm herself down. I thought we could tell each other  
anything  
  
-------------  
  
After Grace finished her laps, she saw that Jessie was waiting for  
her in the bleachers. As she walked up she noticed that it was Josh  
who was sitting with her.  
  
"Hey Jess, I'm just going to go change...you ready?" Grace asked her  
hoping that Jessie didn't mind saying goodbye to Josh.  
  
"Yeah, sure," Jess answered and then looked back at Josh. "Well, I  
guess I'd better go."  
  
"Ok, " Josh replied "Talk to you later?"  
  
"Sure" Jessie said as she climbed down the bleachers to walk back  
with Grace  
  
"Great practice by the way, Manning" Josh yelled after them.  
  
Grace walked into the locker room, and noticed that a lot of people  
were already starting to clear out. Jessie sat next to her on the  
bench.  
  
"Good practice?" Jessie asked her  
  
"Yeah," Grace answered " Coach moved where I'm playing, and now  
Katie and I can actually make a good enough team to score a goal  
once and awhile" Grace knew she'd mentioned the forbidden K word,  
but she didn't care.  
  
"That's good" Jessie said dully.  
  
"So, what's with you and Josh? You seem to be seeing a lot of each  
other lately"  
  
"Yeah, well, he's a nice guy, I think we're going to see a movie  
this weekend"  
  
Grace didn't know what angle she should take: Supportive of this new  
relationship or that of devil's advocate.  
  
"Well, nice is always something I look for in a loving, passionate,  
romantic relationship" Grace said sarcastically.  
  
Guess it'll be the devil's advocate role yet again She thought to  
herself with a laugh  
  
"Well, it is" Jessie replied defensively.  
  
Just as Jessie was going to tell Grace to hurry up, Katie walked  
into the locker room, obviously out of breath.  
  
Grace saw that Katie looked beaten up "What were you trying do  
Katie? Run a marathon?" She yelled to her as she came in the door.  
  
Katie just smiled at her "Maybe." She answered trying to be as  
natural as possible.  
  
"Oh crap," Grace turned to Jessie "I left my shin guards on the  
field. Give me just one second while I run and get them"  
  
Knowing Grace probably did it on purpose Jessie objected. "No, it's  
ok, let me go get them, so you can finish getting dressed"  
  
Before Grace could argue Jessie bolted out the door onto the field.  
  
Grace looked at Katie who was starting to change herself not far.  
Katie looked up and smiled sadly at her.  
"I guess she doesn't even want to be in the same room as me" Katie  
said to Grace.  
  
Grace was surprised that Katie had said anything, but she was glad  
she had.  
  
"I'd have to be the smartest person in the world...throughout all of  
history...to even begin to understand what's going inside Jessie's  
head...." Grace decided to press on a little further. "So, have you  
talked to her at all?"  
  
"No," Katie said "not for the past month or so. It's like she's just  
erased any thought of me at all. Like we were never even together...or  
had even met for that matter."  
  
"She thinks about you" Grace said "She may not come out and say it  
to anyone, but I live with her --- it's obvious."  
  
"Then I just don't understand what happened. She never really even  
told me anything. She was so vague" Katie said slowly trying to keep  
her emotions in check. "And now...I guess she's with Josh..."  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Grace said uncertainly "That's how I know she still  
loves you though. She doesn't really care about him. I think she's  
just kidding herself....or trying to anyway"  
  
Katie was about to reply, but they were interrupted by the return of  
Jessie.  
  
"Grace! Hurry up I'm going to be late!" Jessie said impatiently.  
  
"Chill, you're going to be fine. I'm just go to the bathroom real  
quickly and we'll go"  
  
Jessie sat down on the bench and waited. She hated that she felt so  
nervous and awkward when she was near Katie.  
  
Katie had just finished putting on her shoes, and was grabbing her  
bag to head out the door. She just couldn't bring herself to walk by  
Jess without saying anything. But she didn't know what she should  
say. Should she ask her how she was? If she wanted to hang out this  
weekend...as friends?  
I mean what the hell do you say in a situation like this?" Katie  
wondered. Why should this have to be so damn hard? How come she  
can't even say hi to me anymore?" she though angrily.  
  
"So, are we just going to go through the rest of high school  
ignoring each other.?" Katie said a little bit more bitterly than  
she had intended.  
  
Jessie didn't know what to say. That's not what she wanted...was it?  
  
Katie continued on, "How can you just pretend we never meant  
anything to each other? How come it's so easy for you to not to talk  
to me anymore?"  
  
When Jessie didn't answer Katie, silent tears starting to roll down  
Katie's cheeks. Jessie wanted to say something, anything, but it's  
like she'd forgotten how to speak. She hated seeing Katie cry --  
more than anything. Katie never cried. She was too tough for that.  
  
"Katie..." Jessie said slowly. She couldn't say anything else - it  
was too hard.  
  
"Jess, why won't you let me know what's really going on with you?  
Because right now, all I know is that the one person in the world  
that I thought I could completely love and trust...is lying to me,"  
Katie said through her tears "Maybe the feeling wasn't as mutual as  
I thought - maybe you never cared." She swiped at her eyes quickly  
and left the locker room.  
  
Grace hadn't meant to over hear them....well not exactly. She was  
walking back in when she heard Katie and she just didn't want to  
make awkward situation even more awkward by interrupting.  
  
"Ok," Grace said normally "you ready?"  
  
TBC....???


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Keep It Together (4?)

**Author:** Morgan  
**Feedback:** Yes, please, it's kind of like fuel for writing  
**Disclaimer: **These characters aren't mine and I'm just borrowing them for a while.  
**Summary:** I'm not good at the whole summary thing...something's up with Jessie but she won't tell anyone what it is?  
**Author's Note:** I haven't written anything in this story in ages, to put it nicely. So, this chapter may be a little rusty. Hopefully, I'll get back into it. Anyway, let me know what you think.

------------------------------------------------

When Jessie finally got home that night, all she wanted to do was go to sleep. Ignore the piles of homework building up; ignore the parents asking too many questions. As she crawled into her cozy bed in the attic, the rain started to come down harder than it had in ages. She couldn't help but remember the last time it was raining so hard.

* * *

"I think the rain must be our special thing" Katie said as she took off her sweatshirt.

"Really?" Jessie asked smiling from ear to ear "Why do you say that?"

"Well, every time it's raining and we're in the attic, good things happen."

"Good things?"

"Very good things" Katie said as she laid down next to Jessie

Jessie leaned in and kissed Katie passionately. They hadn't had time to be alone in awhile, and it felt like their first kiss all over again. It was the kind of kiss that can make you forget not only your name, but how to speak.

"See what I mean?" Katie said as they pulled apart to get some air. "Very, very good things" Since that was all the air she needed, she went back in for more.

* * *

The phone started ringing incessantly which pulled Jessie back to reality.

Don't let it be for me Jessie pleaded silently.

"Jessie!" Zoë Screeched up the stairs "It's for you!"

Jessie thought about reaching for the phone, but when she still hadn't answered Zoë decided to yell again.

"OK! I got it!" Jessie finally answered back as she picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Um, hi, Jessie? It's Josh." The other end of the phone said quickly.

Figures thought Jessie as she decided to participate in the conversation

"Oh, hey Josh, what's up?"

"Not much, just procrastinating doing my English paper, but I was just wondering if you wanted to go out with me again tomorrow night. Maybe to a movie?"

"Well," Jessie started trying to think of what to say next. But before she could answer Josh jumped in

"I'll even let you pick the movie. Chick flick if necessary."

Jessie laughed. He was actually a nice guy. "Ok, sounds fun"

"Great," Josh answered almost sighing with relief. "See you tomorrow at school."

"K, see ya" Jessie said as she hung up.

She just put the phone back into the receiver when a voice said, "So, how's Josh?"

Jessie looked up and saw Grace standing at the entrance to her bedroom.

"God, carry a bell or something" Jessie spat quickly.

"So, how's Josh?" Grace asked again ignoring Jessie's remark.

"Great," Jessie said tonelessly "I was just going to go to sleep, do you mind?"

"Not at all," Grace said as she sat down next to Jessie on the bed "As long as you don't mind me sitting here until you tell me what the hell is going in that crazy mind of yours."

I can't get a break Jessie thought to herself

"Why is it that the more I want people to go away and leave me alone the more they want to bug me?" Jessie asked.

"Guess you're the cat hater and we're all cats." Grace answered stupidly.

"Whatever that means." Jessie answered with a roll of her eyes.

Nobody said anything for awhile, and the silence became awkward.

"Look," Jessie started quietly as she stared at her hands "Why can't you just let it go that I'm not interested in Katie anymore? I mean, I don't see you with all of your ex-boyfriends. Why don't you go back to them?"

"Completely logical question" Grace said "It's just too bad love isn't logical, isn't it?"

Jessie just stared at her.

"Ok," Grace answered finally trying to be serious "I'm not letting it go because obviously something's going on. And the thing is, I'm not even sure that Katie is the problem. You broke up with her for no reason. Your relationship was great, and you were happier than I've ever seen you. So, what happened that wasn't involved with Katie? I mean, you're not even friends with her anymore for god's sake!"

"Why aren't you friends with your…." Jessie started

"Oh shut up Jessie," Grace snapped, cutting Jessie off, "It's different. You know it is. You are or were so much closer with Katie than I've been with…well, with anyone. And I don't understand what could have happened to make you stupid enough to give that up!"

Jessie had gone back to staring at her hands. The same deep man's voice played in her head as clearly as if he were next to her 'You're so stupid. You don't even realize what you are. What you're doing. You're a pathetic stupid, little moron who's in over her pretty, little head'

"…and I don't understand" Grace finished. "Hello? Jessie? Are you even listening?"

Jessie looked up confused for a second "Sorry, I must've spaced out"

"Whatever" Grace said as she got up to leave "Fine, if you're not talking to me, I hope you're at least talking to someone."

"I don't need to talk to anyone" Jessie answered angrily "I don't love Katie, and I don't need her. So just back the hell off"

"Who are you trying to convince?" Grace retorted from the bottom of the stairs "Me? Or yourself?"


End file.
